018 - I won’t be made useless…I won’t be idle with despair.
I’ve allowed myself to doom and gloom today. But I’m not going to be a willing doormat to goose-step over. I took one step to donate to the ACLU. It’s like that Jewel song, “Hands”, as referenced in the title.
“If I could tell the world just one thing it would be
That we're all okay
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
[Chorus]
My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own and
I am never broken.”
I am determined to get my shit together. I have to. My survival might depend on it. I can’t loll around and expect to be saved by some mysterious benefactor. I hold no faith in a deity. I barely hold faith in humanity. But I refuse to wallow in grief for something that was probably inevitable either way.
I have to take perspective. I have a home. I have a body that works, that’s in dire need of shaping and strengthening, albeit. I still have my name. I’m still able to dress how I please. I am not being forced to be wife or a mother. I am privileged in these ways, yet feel great sorrow for those not as lucky. In the grand scheme of things, I’m relatively safe in a blue state, but a red county has me worried. Funnily enough, the city in the town is blue but the surrounding county is red. Guess who makes up much of the demographic of the blue population?
The people during the first two world wars must have thought the world was ending, especially the Jews. Though I think this is much stupider than a Third Reich situation. Hitler was somewhat intelligent. A morally bankrupt sadistic psychopath, but intelligent. Trump is dumber than soup and practically on the brink of death. It’s been all but confirmed that he constantly shits himself and has to wear a diaper. I don’t think JD Vance would be an improvement though. His comments about childless women are both pathetic and sinister.
I have a slim hope of something happening to stop all of this. Kamala Harris made her speech. It’s the endless cycle of Democrat and Republican backlashes. I worry about Project 2025. Though I will argue that if Republicans couldn’t pass their healthcare reform bill, I highly doubt most things proposed will be possible. Or at least I hope so.
I can only hope. I hope for better days, but it’s not looking good. Signing off.