003 - Part of adulthood is having your childhood ruined…

I used to be a Potterhead like many millennials of my time. The books were an escape from a lonely middle school existence of fundamentalist Christianity and parents who expected too much out of a 13-year-old. Having one of my books confiscated by the church school pastor was the last straw in my decision that I needed to get out of that hellhole. You can take my sanity, you can take my freedom of self-expression, but you do NOT touch my books!

Then around 2017, JK Rowling revealed her shitty manifesto of transphobia and suddenly her books were under heavy scrutiny. There were problems with her books before we found out she was a Nazi sympathizer, but we were too blinded by magical rose-tinted glasses and we didn’t want to admit it. To admit it would be admitting that your childhood escapism was problematic from the get-go. Like why JK Rowling tends to make the most unlikable characters fat and ugly (Dudley, Uncle Vernon, Crabbe, Dolores Umbridge). How she makes the evil female characters more masculine (Aunt Marge). Then there’s some moments of mindless cruelty, like when the Weasley twins “accidentally” drop a sweet in front of Dudley, the enchanted candy making his tongue so big, it threatens to kill him. And yet, the Weasley children and Harry thought it was hilarious to see Dudley turn blue and almost suffocate.

Sigh. Don’t you fucking hate hindsight?

Another part of my preteen years was listening to bands like Evanescence, Three Days Grace, Bullet For My Valentine, and Linkin Park. Linkin Park was the music I put on in my most depressive state, the lyrics resonating through me, validating my pain when no one else wanted to acknowledge it. Then around 2017 - which turns out to be a fucking awful year, doesn’t it? - Chester Bennington was discovered dead from an apparent suicide.

After the grief, it only seemed fair for Linkin Park to disband after the goodbye tours. There was no one who could replace Chester. And I will still say no one can replace Chester even if the band has hired another singer.

Look, I get hiring another singer if the previous singer had to quit. But Chester died. Nirvana disbanded after Kurt Cobain’s suicide. It just feels like a slap to the face for Linkin Park to hire someone new. And especially someone like Emily Armstrong. She’s a Scientologist and has shown up in court in support of Danny Masterson, the rapist. Regardless of how Wikipedia states how she backpedaled and says she shouldn’t have, I am reticent to put my guard down. The most egregious effects have been to Linkin Park’s social media accounts, now seemingly taken over by Scientology advocates.

I’ve also just read a Reddit post about how Chester Bennington’s son is getting death threats by Scientologists posing as Linkin Park fans. What in the motherfucking hell is going on?!!? Am I in the goddamn Twilight Zone?!?!? Why does every facet of life have to be infiltrated by cultists and fundamentalist basketcases?!?!?!

I’m so tired. And it’s not about me. It’s the full-on apathy and myopia of the present world. We can’t see the raging wildfire of inequality and corruption for the housefires set by populists to distract us from the real issues. People say I’m overreacting. I rather be overreacting than underreacting. The road to fascism is surrounded by a bunch of rich, powerful fucks telling you nothing is wrong. I’m reminded by a quote from The Testaments, the sequel to The Handmaid’s Tale:

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I took the one most traveled by. It was littered with corpses, as such roads are. But as you will have noticed, my own corpse is not among them.”

Not this month, anyway. I might be mentally ill, but having hope might be the nuttiest of all mental disorders. Signing off.